The Snape's Prank War
by notwritten
Summary: Hermione decided to make this year an interesting one for her husband Severus Snape. She was planning a prank war on him. This a sequel to Ways to annoy, harass, confuse, or scare Snape. AU. Completed.
1. Once Upon a Tail

Chapter 1 Once Upon a Tail

Disclaimer: I do not own the Harry Potter characters.

A/N: I now have a beta for this story evenstar. I thank her for help and ideas.

Idea: To give Severus Snape a rat's tail when he was not looking.

It was the first of September at Hogwarts. The students will be arriving that night for the beginning of the year feast. Hermione Snape will be teaching along with her husband this year. She is replacing Headmistress McGonagall as Transfiguration teacher.

Hermione decided to make this year an interesting one for Severus Snape. She was planning a prank war on him. Before they got married her, students, and other teachers had pulled pranks on him. Hermione was a student at the time. Snape did not like what was happening at that time. So Snape also pulled some pranks on the students, and teachers in retaliation. Hermione figured that her husband would pull pranks back at her. It was going to be an interesting year for both of them.

Hermione decided she was going to pull a prank at the feast. The spell she would be using is one that she found in a book called 'Pranks for All' by George and Fred Weasley.

Snape came to the feast dressed as he was always in black. Hermione followed wearing purple robes. When Snape sat down Hermione said the spell silently aiming her wand at his backside. A long gray tail appeared on his behind.

Some of the teachers saw what had happened. They looked at Hermione with a surprised look on their faces. No one said anything to Snape. Snape noticed the strange looks that Hermione was receiving from some of the other teachers. He could not figure out what was going on.

It was at the end of the feast that Snape noticed that some of the teachers were snickering at him. Then he realized that something was going on. He looked behind himself and saw that he had a rat's tail on his behind.

He turned angrily to Hermione and asked, "Why is there a rat's tail on my behind?"

Hermione then told him, "It is only a prank, and it will disappear in a couple of hours Severus. I am declaring a prank war on you."

Snape was very angry at his wife for doing this to him. He undid the tail that Hermione had put on him. He would have to retaliate, but it will not be nice at all, but be very messy. Snape was going to have some fun with this. He thought about some pranks he could pull on Hermione.

Snape went their quarters to confront his wife about the prank. Hermione noticed that her husband was not in a good mood. He was pretending to be mad at her. She was a little bit scared of what he might do to her. Snape went to his wife and did something unexpected. He started to laugh at his wife's reaction. Hermione felt a little bit uncomfortable right now. She was not expecting him to laugh at the prank. Maybe it was a good reaction. Snape then picked her up, and kicked the bedroom door open. Then he put her on the bed, and he had his way with her. Hermione could no longer remember what had happened.

This is the beginning of the prank war between Hermione Snape and Severus Snape.

A/N: The spell that was used 'Rata Rabo' Rat Tail.


	2. Smiles

Chapter 2 Smiles

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Harry Potter characters.

A/N: thanks to my beta evenstar.

Idea: Smile at him. For one day.

Hermione is going to pull a prank on Snape that would not use any magic. All that she would have to do was to smile at him for one day. It would be interesting to watch him and see if he could realize that it was a prank. Then Hermione got another idea, she was going to get the students and teachers involved in the prank. It would be more interesting this way.

Hermione asked the students and the teachers if they would like to participate in a prank that she wanted to pull on Snape. Hermione told the students and teachers during lunchtime, because Snape was not in attendance, so it was safe to talk about the prank. The students and the teachers liked the prank so much that they agreed to help. The prank is to begin the next day.

So the next morning Hermione began smiling at him. That was the beginning of the prank. As they were making their way towards the Great Hall for breakfast. They came across students that were smiling. They were smiling at Snape. Hermione was still smiling, but on the inside, she was laughing. She had to bite her cheeks to keep from laughing.

The rest of the day Snape saw nothing but smiles that directed at him. At first, he could not figure out why everyone was smiling at him. Then it dawned on him, this was a prank that was set up by his wife Hermione. Snape decided two could play at this game. He would smile at everyone that smiled at him. He was enjoying the students, and teachers reactions. Now to do this to Hermione when he saw her next.

Hermione had heard that Snape was smiling back at everyone. She knew that he knew that it was a prank, and was getting even with everyone. A few minutes later Snape came to Hermione with a big smile on his face. Hermione smiled back at him, and giggled at the same time. Hermione knew then that her husband had figured that it was a prank.

Hermione asked him, "How did you figure out that a prank was being pulled on yourself."

Snape said, "People normally do not smile at me. Also I have gotten some interesting reactions from me smiling at them. Some of the students ran away scared, while others just continued smiling at me. Can we end this prank? My face is aching from smiling too much."

"Your face would not be aching if you use your facial muscles more." Quipped Hermione.

Hermione then said that she would tell everyone at dinner that the prank is over. So at dinnertime Hermione stood up and told them that the prank was over, because Snape had figured it out. That was the end of that prank.

A/N: The idea for this prank comes from a list called: "Ways to annoy, harass, confuse, or generally scare Professor Snape."


	3. Ferret Droppings

Chapter 3 Ferret Droppings

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Harry Potter characters.

A/N: Thanks to my beta evenstar.

Hermione thought of a prank to pull on Severus while she was grading some of the first year's homework. She was going to get some ferret droppings then she would leave a large pile on his desk. When he asks if she did it she would say that Draco Malfoy did it.

Hermione did as she planned, she got a hold of the ferret droppings. Then Hermione snuck into her husbands' office when he was not around. Then she put the droppings on his desk. All she had to do was to wait for his reaction.

Snape went to his office. When he opened the door, he got a whiff of a weird smell coming from his desk. He went over to it and saw what was causing the smell. It was, ferret droppings. Hermione was at it again. With his wand, he got rid of the ferret droppings and the smell. Snape decided to confront his wife about this latest prank.

Later at dinner, Snape asked her. "Are you responsible for the ferret droppings on my desk in my office."

Hermione told him. "No I did not do it. Draco Malfoy did it."

Snape looked at her strangely and said to her, "That is impossible for him to do it since he is not in the castle. Unless he popped in then did it and left again. Which I do not think he did. Tell the truth Hermione."

Hermione stood up and said, "Why should I tell you? I still insist that he did it, not myself."

Hermione left the Great Hall laughing to herself. She thought the conversation went well.

Snape did not know what to believe. So he went to his office and floo called Draco Malfoy.

Draco stuck his face and asked. "What did you want Severus?"

Snape told him what had happened. Draco laughed and said that he did not pull the prank on him. Hermione must have done it. That conversation ended.

Snape went to his and Hermione private quarters. He was going to corner his wife and tell her what he did. As he entered their quarters, he saw that Hermione was reading a book.

Snape then asked Hermione. "Why did you lie to me about this prank. I had a talk with Draco. He said that he did not do it."

Hermione lifted her head and said challengingly. "So what if I did. What are you going to do about it Severus?"

Snape went to her, took the book from her hands. He then sat down, and showed her what he was going to do about it.

Later when they were done Hermione told him, "That was some revenge. I enjoyed very much. I enjoy pulling pranks on you Severus you can be a tad stuffy at times. By me, pulling pranks on you, your reactions make you more human. There are more to come. I do not know how long I will continue to pull pranks on you."

Snape purred and said silkily. "By all means do it, but I will pull pranks back at you Hermione."

Then he took her by the hand and took them to their bedroom and then continued what they had been doing.

A/N: The idea for this prank comes from a list called: "Ways to annoy, harass, confuse, or generally scare Professor Snape."


	4. Boo!

Chapter 4 Boo

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Harry Potter characters.

A/N: Thanks to my beta evenstar.

Idea: On Halloween, every time Snape talks with Hermione she will say boo.

Hermione had come up with a simple prank to pull on Halloween. She was going to say boo every time Severus says anything. This should be fun she thought.

The day before Halloween arrived at the castle without anything happening. Snape thought maybe this Halloween would be a little more quiet than usual. That is what he hoped for, but that was not to be. For what he did not know, his wife had a prank planned for the next day. Not a fancy one, but a simple one.

On Halloween day which was on a Saturday that year? Hermione arrived at the head table in the Great Hall before her husband arrived. Matter of fact she had gotten up earlier than usual to get out of their quarters before he had gotten up. So that she could pull her prank off well.

Snape awoke and noticed that Hermione had already gotten up before him. Which was unusual for her? He usually had to get her out of bed. Anyway, he got ready for the day. Then he realized that today was Halloween. Oh no he thought! Will Hermione be playing a prank on him today. I hope not he thought.

Snape arrived at the head table, he was the last to arrive for breakfast. He sat himself beside Hermione. Snape noticed that she was wearing an orange and black robes. He was surprised at what she was wearing, but decided not to say anything about it. He did not want any trouble during breakfast.

"Good morning Hermione." Snape said.

But she just said, "Boo!"

Did she just say boo to him he thought. The other teachers heard her answer to Snape. They all hid their smiles. This should be interesting they thought.

As the day progressed when Snape said something to Hermione, her only answer would be the word boo. After a while Snape had decided that he had enough. What he was going to do was every time she said boo he was going to kiss her. So when she said boo he kissed her. After a while she stopped saying boo. Now whenever Severus said anything she kissed him. As the day ended they both ended back to their quarters. Snape took her hand and they both went to their bedroom for a Halloween treat.

A/N: Please review. Keep smiling and be happy. :-)


	5. Sack Lunch

Chapter 5 Sack Lunch

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Harry Potter characters or Hogwarts.

A/N: Thanks to my beta evenstar.

Hermione came up with a strange prank. She had gotten the idea from something, she heard about in the muggle world.

Hermione one day presented Severus with a sack lunch in a kiddie lunch pail. Snape stared at her as if she were crazy. He just walked away from her. She continued doing this for several days until Snape snapped.

"Hermione what are you trying to prove with this prank. All it is doing is annoying me. So no more lunches."

"Are you sure Severus? It is nutritious lunch, and very delicious too. "She said with an innocent look."

"Hermione just drop the act please."

Snape walked away to go to his potion's classroom to teach his dunderheads.

Snape decided to forget about the prank. He just wanted a quiet life with Hermione. But that was not to be. In the next few days at mealtimes, some other pranks would be done by some of the students in Gryffindor directed by Hermione.

At dinner, Snape was starting to eat his meal. One student jumped of their seat, and dashed up to the teachers table and insisted on tasting the food before he had a bite. 'Just in case.' Another student during the duration of this meal kept going up to the table and asking him if he wants anything on that, waving condiments madly.

Some of the teachers and students laughed at what was happening. They all thought it was funny. Snape got so fed up that he left the table and went back to his quarters. For the next few meals this continued. Snape had enough, so at dinnertime a few days later. Snape did something about it.

He turned to his wife and said, "Stop these pranks or you will be sorry Hermione."

The tone of his voice he used scared Hermione. So she told him that, "I will stop these particular pranks Severus."

Snape felt hurt and embarrassed at what she did to him. The other pranks did not make him hurt or embarrassed. She had taken this too far. He went back to their quarters to think about what had happened.

After Snape had left the Great Hall Hermione stood up and told the Gryffindors that these pranks were over. She also told them that they were successful. She did not tell them that the pranks may have gone over board and hurt her husband.

When she got back to their quarters Snape was sitting in a chair facing the fireplace. There was a grim look on his face. Hermione did not feel so happy now. She went and faced him.

"I am sorry that the latest pranks embarrassed and hurt you Severus. There were not meant to embarrass you. They are supposed to be funny. Will you forgive me."

"Hermione you went too far this time. It will take sometime for me to forgive you. So I want to be left alone right now."

So Hermione walked away feeling very sad, for she really hurt him this time. These pranks were not supposed to hurt him, they were supposed to be funny. She has to find a way to make up for it. That would take sometime to do it. She also decided that she was going to take a break from pulling pranks on her husband, because of what happened.

A/N: Idea for pranks came from Kiskax.

Please review. Keep smiling. :-)


	6. Glue and Feathers

Chapter 6 Glue and Feathers

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Harry Potter characters.

A/N: Thanks to my beta evenstar.

It was Snape's turn to pull a prank on Hermione. He knew what he was going to do. He was going balance a bucket full of glue over their bedroom door so that it would fall and cover her and then cover her in a load of feathers. Then he charmed them so that they won't come off for three days. Snape could not wait for the prank to happen. Hermione would be furious when she finds out the feathers were to stay on her for three days. He would have to sleep on the couch during the length of the prank. He did not want to have to smell the glue and the feathers. He had a smirk on his face as he thought of that.

Hermione came back to their quarters after having a grueling day teaching dunderheads. All she wanted was to relax with a good book by the fire with her husband beside her. That was not to be. Instead, as she entered the bedroom so that she could change her clothes. A bucket of glue fall on her next followed by feathers. What a sticky smelly mess she was. She took out her wand and tried to get rid of the glue and feathers off her. Hermione tried every spell that she could think of. Nothing worked!!! So she went and looked for her husband. For she knew, that he had done it. She was angry of course, who wouldn't be!

Hermione found Snape in the Lab working on a potion.

"Severus why this prank. Can the feathers come off now." asked an angry Hermione.

Severus sneered and said, " It is charmed to stay on for three days. This what you get for the last prank you played on me. You can put an extra robe over the feathered clothes so that no one will see the feathers."

"Fine, but you can sleep on the couch for the next three days until the feathers are gone." A snarling Hermione said.

The next three days went fast. The feathers disappeared from Hermione body. She was glad to be rid of the feathers, because of the smell and feel. Snape was able to sleep on his bed again.

A/N: The idea for this prank is by Satan'sPixie.

Please review. Keep smiling. :-)


	7. The Grunge Look

Chapter 7 The Grunge Look

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Harry Potter characters.

A/N: Thanks to my beta evenstar.

Hermione was reading the Witches Weekly and saw the latest look for American wizard's clothes. They were a grunge style. She thought that she would make a good prank to pull on her husband. It would have to be done in a way that he could not see, but others could see. She would have to some research in the library for that. So she went to the library to see if she could find an answer. The library did not have the information she was looking for at all.

Hermione went and sent an owl to Ginny Potter and asked if she knew any spells for her latest prank. Hermione then explained what her latest prank involved. Ginny sent an owl back with a note telling her that she could cast a glamour on Snape for the prank. Ginny wrote that there is a special spell for this kind of glamour. All Hermione had to do was to say 'garbo' and visualize what Snape was going to look like.

Hermione sent the owl back with a note saying thank you to Ginny. She decided that she was going to pull the prank off the next day.

In the morning before her husband woke up she performed the spell on him. He was wearing an indigo flannel shirt, and overalls. A few minutes later Snape awoke. He saw that his wife was in a good mood that morning. He did not know why she was in a good mood. Snape hoped she was not up to something. He did say good morning to her anyway.

Hermione said to him, "Good morning Severus." Then she gave him a kiss, and tried not to giggle on how he looked.

Later on as they left their quarters and went to the Great Hall. Snape noticed as they were walking that some of the students were giving him strange looks. Snape could not figure out why he was getting strange looks. The answer came as he entered the Great Hall. The students from the all four houses were staring and giggling at him. It was then he knew that something was going on.

He turned to Hermione and scowled then said, "What did you do to me Hermione?"

Hermione knew the gig was up. She told him, It is just a glamour I put on you. You are wearing an indigo flannel shirt and overalls Severus. You still have your normal black clothes on. I will take the glamour off you now."

Hermione then said 'garbo'. The glamour was gone. Severus was glad that he was back to normal.

He asked, "Where did you get the idea for the clothes?"

Hermione had the Witches Weekly on her so she showed him the pictures in the magazine as they sat down in their seats. He thought those American wizards had a weird sense of clothing style. They would not catch him wearing clothing like that.

A/N: Please review. Keep smiling. :-)

Idea came from Varity Sinning

'Garbo' means glamour.


	8. Magical Password

Chapter 8 Magic Password

Disclaimer: I do not own Hermione or Snape.

Hermione had an idea for a prank to pull on her husband. Hermione changed the password to their quarters, and to her husband's office. The spell that she used to make the change is 'Palabra Clave Murdar'. The password for their quarters was now 'flowers and lollipops'. So the password for his office is now 'fluffy white kittens'. She was looking forward to his reaction to the password change. Could he figure out the new passwords? She did not know, but she would be nearby to watch the whole thing.

Snape was tired after teaching dunderheads potions. He left the potion's classroom to head to his office. So he went to his office to mark some of his student's assignments. He said the password to let the wards down so he could get into his office. Nothing happened, so he tried again and got the same results. Someone had changed the password to his office. He bet it was Hermione that pulled the prank. So he used different combinations of words to try to get the wards down. Hermione was nearby watching this whole thing.

About thirty minutes later, he finally got the right words to lower the wards on his office door. 'Fluffy white kittens' that is something only Hermione would think of. So he went into his office to work on the student's assignments. Hermione saw that he figured out the new password for his office. She went to their private quarters to wait for him.

Later Snape finished marking the assignments. They were bad as usual. He could not believe some of the answers they came up. It did not matter. He was tired and wanted to get back to his and Hermione's quarters to relax and then spend sometime with Hermione.

When he got to the door he muttered the password, but nothing happened. Hermione struck again he thought. What words did she use this time? He hoped it would not take thirty minutes to figure out the new password. So he tried different combinations of words. It did take thirty minutes again.

He was angry and frustrated at Hermione. When he got into the room, Hermione was sitting down on their couch with a smirk on her face.

He went to her, pulled her up, and said, "Hermione I did not like this prank you pulled on me. I want the original passwords put back on these quarters and my office now, not later"

Hermione put up her arms in surrender and told him, "Okay I will change the passwords back. So try to calm down a little bit. I am sorry that you did not like the prank."

So she left their quarters to go and change the passwords.

A/N: The idea for this prank comes from a list called: "Ways to annoy, harass, confuse, or generally scare Professor Snape."

'Palabra Clave Murdar'. Means 'Change Password'.


	9. The End of the Pranks

The End of the Pranks

Disclaimer: I do not own Snape or Granger.

Hermione was going to stop pulling pranks on her husband. She was getting bored with pulling them. They were no longer fun to pull. She was going to have to let him know. He would be glad that it was over with. so she went to her husband to tell him the good news. The problem was he may not believe it. She found him in their quarters sitting in front of a roaring fire.

"Severus I have come to tell you I am going to stop pranking you. I am bored of doing them. I know you will not believe it. I have enough of them."

"Hermione I am not surprised that you are bored with doing them. I am relived that you will not be doing them anymore."

"Thank you Severus for believing me."

So they did not pull any more pranks on each other again.

The End.

A/N: This is the end of the pranks. Thanks for reading and reviewing, and favoring this story.


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